Everyday I hear my children use the same line over and over and over.  I have four daughters under the age of 10 and I didn't have to teach any one of them how to use a guilt trip to get what they want (though I probably taught them without even trying).  The most common phrase in our house these days is "Ok, I guess you don't want to play with me then."

     What this means is, "Ok, since you aren't playing the way I want you to play, then I won't play with you."  Since you don't love me enough to always be the boy Barbie I won't play with you.  Since you don't love me enough to always be the Dad when we play house I won't play with you.  Since you don't love me enough to let me play with your favorite toys I'm not going to play with you.

     Do you ever find yourself using guilt trips in your preaching?  Ok, yeah, yeah I know, the Bible says that, "When [the Holy Spirit] comes, He will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgement" (John 16:8).  But sometimes your students need a little help because the way they are acting is proof that they aren't feeling as convicted as they ought to, so we need to turn up the heat a little bit.  Besides, the Holy Spirit will use whatever means necessary to convict these students, and your message happens to be the means.

     Those who have heard me teach know that I don't teach "You're-OK-I'm-OK" messages.  I've been confronted in the past that my messages always end with a challenge, which is true.  But I also try to make it clear that I'm not trying to give them a guilt trip, BUT if we truly love God shouldn't it show?  Shouldn't we want to talk to people about Him?  

     Guilt trips are definitely not confined to our teaching!  We can use it so many places.  Having poor attendance to your events?  Tell your student, "Hey, if soccer is more important than Jesus to you, I totally understand that you'll be missing Duct Tape Night."  Parents not putting a priority on sending their kids to your Bible study?  Tell them, "I totally understand they need to stay home and study to get into college... hey, speaking of college studies, did you hear that 70-90% of students leave the church after highschool?  Wonder why that is..."  Church isn't giving you a good budget?  Tell your pastor, "Hey, I understand that the youth don't tithe so they don't get as much of the budget, it's good for them to learn their place before they become the main financial supporters of the church."  Wife thinks you're spending too much time at the church?  Tell her, "Hey hun, I'm doing God's work!  You don't want me to do God's work?"  (If you have used this last one, go to your wife (and children if applicable) now, as in, this very instant, and beg them to forgive you.  Then go to your church and tell them you will no longer be working 40 hours in the office and three nights a week with youth and attedning every evening and weekend staff event and an hour before and after both services.  And while you're at it, let them know that a youth retreat is not "holidays" and after the next retreat they'll be lucky to see you in the office by Thursday).

     So here's my point, be aware of the words you use (see, always have to end with a challenge).  Perhaps you are like me and you've gotten so accustomed to throwing out guilt trips that you don't even realize you are doing it anymore.  Perhaps you know exactly what you are doing and that's why you are doing it.  Leave the convicting up to the Holy Spirit and teach what God lays on your heart (but don't forget being a prophet doesn't give you license to be a jerk, only speak for God when He's asked you to, otherwise you are in trouble!).  Give people the freedom to be committed to your events/Bible studies/church or not.  Do me a favour and subscribe to the blog, it's fun!  I mean, you don't have to subscribe, I understand that you don't want your email being cluttered up with updates of how you can be a better Chirstian...  Feedback?  Have you caught yourself throwing around some heavy guilt trips?  Been taken on one too many yourself?