Have you ever had a student come up and say to you, "I'll bet you don't know my name" or plainly, "What's my name?"  You know this student is not simply trying to find out how good your memory is, they are asking, "How important am I here?"  "How important am I to you?" 

     What was your response?  Did you confidently look at them and call them by name?  First and last?  Reply not only with their first and last name but favorite flavour of pizza, favorite past time and  pet's name?  Did you blankly stare back at them deciding if you should come clean or make an excuse?  Should you just apologize and say something like, "I'm sorry, I'm terrible with names."  Go on the offensive?  "Oh yeah?  What's my name?"  Do you stall hoping someone will call out their name?  "Surreeee, chief.  Of course I know your name... you are very... very... very important (scanning the room for someone who can clue you in).  I would never... ever... ever forget someone's name like yours... sport."  Did you grab the closest leader and say, "Hey, have you two met before?" and wait for your leader to introduce himself by name and the student to offer theirs?

     Obviously knowing names is important.  I tell all of my leaders (and myself) constantly that no student should be able to come to our group a second time and not be greeted by name.  (Of course this is easier in smaller groups, but just as important in larger groups, maybe even more important in larger groups).  Andy Stanley said, "It's easy to stumble out of church.  It's almost impossible to stumble out of community."  The more a student feels known, they more they feel valued.  The more they feel valued, the more connected they will become.

     Some people are great at remembering names, you hear a name once and it's locked in.  Others are like me.  I literally have forgotten people's names within seconds of being introduced.  If you are like me you are going to have to use some techniques to keep it in there.  There are some classic strategies.  Repeat their name several times in that first conversation, "Nice to me you Troy.  So Troy, what school do you go to?  It was great to meet you Troy, I'll Troy to you later."  Try to connect that person's face and name with something you can easily remember.  For example, my old roommate's name was Troy, next time I see that person I'll think, that kid smells like alphaghetti, so did my old roommate, Troy!  You could use the people around you, as soon as you see a student walk in the door grab a leader and ask, "Hey what's that kid's name?  Are you sure?" 

      One other thing that we have done that worked great was a photo wall.  Knowing that I am not good with names we developed a plan to put up pictures and names.  We had some big cork boards up in our youth room and we took a picture of every student that came to our Bible study.  We would write their name on their photo and glue it to an envelope which became their youth group mailbox.  It works great and helps you connect with your students by making it easy to give them handwritten notes (especially notes written on photocopies of your face!)  Just make sure everyone gets mail... otherwise they check week after week after week with a disappointingly empty mailbox.

     Have you come up with great ways to mask your forgetfulness?  What do you do when you can't remember a name?