Something terrible happens when a church needs a youth pastor and a youth pastor needs a church, they are tempted to settle.  I recently came back from a candidation visit that went very well.  The church was great, the people were wonderful and the city is the dream location to raise our 4+ children, but something didn't feel right.  There were some red flags.  Something in my gut that wouldn't allow me to fully embrace the job opportunity, more importantly, there was a lack of peace in my spirit.

     To be honest, I would have taken the job back when I was starting out.  I would have buried those flags and hoped they would go away.  Now that I have more experience I know better.  Just as I always tell my students and young leaders, never go into a relationship believing things will change for the better.  They might, but don't bank on it.  The flags I had would not likely go away, but get worse.

     You may be wondering, "What are these flags?"  To be honest, there was nothing wrong with the church, I just didn't think I'd be a great fit there.  I need more flexibility in my office hours than I think they were willing to work with.  I also had some concerns with what I felt were control issues.  There are many youth pastors who would be able to thrive in that church, I just don't think I am one of them, and I didn't hide it.  They ended up not calling me to the church despite how well the weekend went and I believe that's largely because I held back no punches.  I didn't hide my blemishes.  I wanted them to know exactly who they were hiring if they hired me.

     This past week I had a preliminary interview in Calgary.  It went extremely well, or at least that's my perception.  At the end of the interview the executive pastor asked, "Josh, why should we hire you?"  All I could say to him was, "If you chose to hire me, it would be most important that you know exactly who you are hiring."  I went on to list every concern any supervisor has brought up with me.  I brought up my need to have some flexibility in my office hours to suit my family.  I told him what my strengths are and what I bring to the table.  Finally, I told him exactly what he could and could not expect from me as a youth pastor. 

     I realize that it may scare them off, but as I have learned, I'd much rather lose a job for who I am than get a job for who I'm not.  So my advice to pastors and churches looking to fill the call to minister to students, never get into a relationship hoping things will fix themselves.  Hope they will get better but assume they won't, and if you can live with that and love what you do, you're set up to win.

     I'd appreciate if you follow my Twitter and subscribe to the blog!  Feedback?  Have you been tempted to hide your true self to get a job (or a date)?  Have you let great jobs pass you by due to red flags or jump in?  How'd it turn out?