20. You Need Haters
First, I will be changing my updates from every Tuesday and Friday to every Thursday. When I started I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up with 2 blog posts a week forever, so the change starts now.Second, I am going to say something today that I imagine some people won't agree with, keep in mind, I have a very good imagination.
If you don't have haters you are not doing effective ministry. I've worked with people who I'm sure strongly disagree with me but I strongly believe that if you are doing effective ministry that you will have haters. I've had my share but as I reflect on my haters I stand by what I've done. Some of them sent me anonymous letters. Some of them tried to go over my head and complain to the senior pastor (with varying success). Some of them had the courage to come to me directly and deal with it head on (and I thanked them for doing so).
I'm definitely not saying that having haters means you do have an effective ministry. I had a friend years ago that loved confrontation. He loved playing the devil's advocate just to get in arguments. He thought it was funny to agitate people. Why I had a friend with such a warped sense of humor I'm not sure. But I'm not propagating that you make enemies just because some random out-of-work youth pastor said you need haters to have effective ministry.
I'm also not saying that you can't have times of peace during effective ministry. The bottom line is this, the Gospel is counter-cultural. It's scandalous. It's makes religious people nervous, even angry. Think about Jesus. Talk about someone doing effective ministry that gave Him His share of haters! How dare He heal on the Sabbath? How dare He claim to offer forgiveness? How dare He claim to rebuild the temple in 3 days?
When you are in youth ministry (any ministry really, but let's focus on youth for now) you are under a microscope. During my first parent meeting of the year I ask all the parents this question, "Who thinks that their child is the most important child in my ministry?" (Credit due to Marv Penner for the question) Obviously every parents raises their hand and hopefully gain the realization that my position does not exist solely to cater to their child but to do my best to help each student in our community and in connection with our community to grow in their relationship with Christ. Youth pastors cannot please everyone.
I've had parents complain that I told their kids that they should stop smoking pot. I've had complaints that youth ministry should be fun and not serious. I have a friend who was fired 3 times because his idea (and my idea) of youth ministry were vastly different from the churches he worked in. When a parent once confronted him on the fact that he was teaching too much about the Bible, that the kids just needed to have fun he replied, "If I was an entertainer you'd have to pay me a lot more money, I'm going to teach the Bible." He didn't last very long there.
Enough ranting for today. It is so stress free to not be a youth pastor, still, I desperately wish I had my own students... and the obligatory haters that come with the position. Next Thursday's blog - How do face your haters. Thanks for reading - Subscribe and follow on Twitter - joshksmith
you still have students. Thanks for your blog. Even though I'm not a youth pastor, I find that I can apply what you are learning and sharing to my future vocation of teaching as well. Love you man and keep up the good work!
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2 Timothy 3:12 "In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,"
If you're trying to live a godly life in Christ Jesus, haters will be there!
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