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A Good Collection is More than a Gimmick

joshksmith — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 16:50:08 GMT

     I have the largest Pringles collection that I know of. I have the largest Pringles collection that most people know of. I imagine there are larger collections out there, but not many. I have over 100 different cans consisting of over 70 different flavours. Most people's response is, "I didn't know they had that many flavours!" That or, "Why do you have those?"

     I started my collection unintentionally back in 2001 as a youth intern. Most church desks have some kind of candy or mint to offer to visitors, I didn't want to go the candy route so I decided I should offer Pringles. Why I ended up choosing Pringles I cannot recall, perhaps simply by God's appointment. I thought it would be neat to keep the cans and someday build something out of them (re-creation of the tower of Babel perhaps?). Years later I had 300 empty Pringles cans in my office and as a joke one of my leaders stole them. In my typical fashion, I didn't respond. I didn't even mention at youth that they were missing. Months went by and I got used to the extra office space. The leader got bored and didn't like taking up the space in her apartment so she returned them all. I kept the one-of-a-kinds and recycled the doubles.

     Since I stream lined my collection to only singles it has continued to grow. Students and families have brought me Pringles cans from places like Spain, Chile, Mexico, Japan, Australia, Thailand and more. I have gotten Pringles related items like a vanity license plate and large display tins. I've also collected a lot of Pringles art from students from water colours to pastel drawings to a 2'X2' metal plaque made in shop class.

     Why do I tell you about my Pringles collection? I think it's important for every youth pastor to have a "thing". I don't like the word gimmick but I guess that's essentially what it is. Lots of youth pastors collect Coke stuff from around the world, perhaps you collect retreat and camp T-shirts exclusively from camps and retreats you never attended, maybe it's miniature colonial figurines.

     Why should every youth pastor have a gimmick? 1. It's a conversation piece. I can't tell you the number of times complete strangers (perhaps for a wedding, funeral or graduation) have been in our church and had to pop their head in my office and comment on the collection. People have even asked if they could take photos of my collection (I often joked that if you visit Medicine Hat there are two things you must see, the World's Tallest Tipi and my Pringles Collection). 2. It makes you more approachable. So many great conversations have started with, "Where did you get all these cans? Are they empty or full? Did you eat them all?" 3. Your students will want to contribute and feel part of your collection. I have students from years ago who are still proud that they contributed a one-of-a-kind can to my collection. I have people going on family vacations asking for a list of cans I don't have from the area they are traveling too. 4. It's something to look at. Sometimes students want to talk and it takes them a while to get to the point. Many times I've had students spend 30 minutes looking at my collection, asking about my favorite flavours (Mexican Layer Dip) and the worst flavours (Soft-Shell Crab) before they feel comfortable enough to bring up the heavy topics.

     So what do you collect? Is your office overrun with a great collection? Does your collection scan the globe?

feel free to use anything I've written on this website in your own teaching but please give credit where credit is due :) explicittruth

21. Shared Experience, Defining Moments

joshksmith — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 17:15:48 GMT

     We were on our way back from an awesome youth retreat in the fall. Unable to afford a bus for the trip we had 9 cars and vans caravan style coming back home, a 6 hour trip. A little more than 2 hours away from home the 7th car saw an emergency vehicle and slowed down. The 8th vehicle hit the car and the 9th hit the 8th. It was a youth pastor's nightmare. The highway was shut down, 3 cars were completely totalled. Ambulances, fire trucks, police. It was a scene, and I was in charge. By God's amazing grace no one was severely injured. Some amazing parents drove out to pick up students and take them home. Not one complaint came to my ears against me or my leaders who were driving. Many hours later than scheduled every student eventually made it home safely.

     It was traumatic, some people were struggling with everything that had happened so we had an impromptu get together the next night in the youth room.  We just put the word out there that we'd be hanging out if anyone wanted to talk or whatever. Almost everyone showed up. We talked about it. Students gave testimonies of how God spoke to them through the event, how kids riding in those 3 cars felt God protect. I took pictures for insurance purposes, I didn't show them to the kids but when a couple leaders and I looked at the photos we were amazed that no one was injured or worse.

     It was a defining moment. It was one of the best things that ever happened in my 6 years at that church. People forgot about who said what about who. They forgot about jr high and sr high. It was one family bonded by a shared experience. Months later I was talking with some leaders and we admitted that we could not have planned a better event and joked that if we knew it would be so good we would have had an accident years sooner (I hope no one takes offense, it's not really a "ha ha" joke).

     That brings me to the point of my blog today. Every group NEEDS a shared experience to bond. I bonded with a group of students doing chinese fire drills on a frozen highway in the middle of the night on the way back from a ski trip. 8 years later we still laugh about it. I bonded amazingly with students on missions trips to our backyard and across the world. I bonded with leaders on a drive from Winnipeg, Manitoba to Austin, Texas. We need these moments in our ministry.

     This became painfully apparent in my last position. We changed our program and took away our weekly fun youth event. I liked the format, mostly because I'm not a games guy, but about 6 months into the experiment I looked back and thought, there's not one moment in this past year that we can look back as a group and say, "Hey, remember when (that crazy thing) happened at that event!"

     Sure, we had worship and Bible study together. We shared that as an experience, but there were no real "shared experiences" to speak of, no defining moments. We changed the format back and had a huge "Eggstravaganza". It was awesome. We hadn't laughed, played and had so much fun all year.

     What are your defining moments as a group? What are your most treasured shared experiences? Do you take these into consideration when you are putting together your calendar?

feel free to use anything I've written on this website in your own teaching but please give credit where credit is due :) explicittruth

20. You Need Haters

joshksmith — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 19:35:20 GMT

     First, I will be changing my updates from every Tuesday and Friday to every Thursday. When I started I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up with 2 blog posts a week forever, so the change starts now.

     Second, I am going to say something today that I imagine some people won't agree with, keep in mind, I have a very good imagination.

     If you don't have haters you are not doing effective ministry. I've worked with people who I'm sure strongly disagree with me but I strongly believe that if you are doing effective ministry that you will have haters. I've had my share but as I reflect on my haters I stand by what I've done. Some of them sent me anonymous letters. Some of them tried to go over my head and complain to the senior pastor (with varying success). Some of them had the courage to come to me directly and deal with it head on (and I thanked them for doing so).

     I'm definitely not saying that having haters means you do have an effective ministry. I had a friend years ago that loved confrontation. He loved playing the devil's advocate just to get in arguments. He thought it was funny to agitate people. Why I had a friend with such a warped sense of humor I'm not sure. But I'm not propagating that you make enemies just because some random out-of-work youth pastor said you need haters to have effective ministry.

     I'm also not saying that you can't have times of peace during effective ministry. The bottom line is this, the Gospel is counter-cultural. It's scandalous. It's makes religious people nervous, even angry. Think about Jesus. Talk about someone doing effective ministry that gave Him His share of haters! How dare He heal on the Sabbath? How dare He claim to offer forgiveness? How dare He claim to rebuild the temple in 3 days?

     When you are in youth ministry (any ministry really, but let's focus on youth for now) you are under a microscope. During my first parent meeting of the year I ask all the parents this question, "Who thinks that their child is the most important child in my ministry?" (Credit due to Marv Penner for the question) Obviously every parents raises their hand and hopefully gain the realization that my position does not exist solely to cater to their child but to do my best to help each student in our community and in connection with our community to grow in their relationship with Christ. Youth pastors cannot please everyone.

     I've had parents complain that I told their kids that they should stop smoking pot. I've had complaints that youth ministry should be fun and not serious. I have a friend who was fired 3 times because his idea (and my idea) of youth ministry were vastly different from the churches he worked in. When a parent once confronted him on the fact that he was teaching too much about the Bible, that the kids just needed to have fun he replied, "If I was an entertainer you'd have to pay me a lot more money, I'm going to teach the Bible." He didn't last very long there.

     Enough ranting for today. It is so stress free to not be a youth pastor, still, I desperately wish I had my own students... and the obligatory haters that come with the position. Next Thursday's blog - How do face your haters. Thanks for reading - Subscribe and follow on Twitter - joshksmith

feel free to use anything I've written on this website in your own teaching but please give credit where credit is due :) explicittruth

19. Becoming Replaceable

joshksmith — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 04:22:45 GMT

    As a youth pastor I've come to terms with the fact that I will never be rich, that's never been my life goal, at least not in financial terms. Our first home we purchased was, to say the least, a "fixer-upper". We believe it was rented out by the previous owner and it appeared to me that no one took any pride in that home. Other than the basement ceiling there is literally no surface that we did not change. We re-painted our yellow-stained ceilings, we painted all our walls updated colours, we put in laminate or linoleum or carpet on all the floors. We put in new toilets, countertops, sinks, fixtures. We did a lot of work to that home and all along the way I did my best to not only make it a place I could be proud of, but also the people who would buy it from us, and the people after them. Throughout our extensive renovations I would use the previous owner's name in the exact same way that Seinfeld would say, "Newman". Poor workmanship and poor materials had left me with a lot of extra work.
     Just before we left we needed to replace the water heater, no cheap venture. We bought the exact same water heater that we would have if we were planning to stay another 20 years. We were asked why would we spend that kind of money when we were on our way out? It's simple, we believe it honours God to treat the house like it's going to be ours forever even though we know it won't be. We know someone else will be using that water heater and we want them to have a good one. Also, we know that we'll be moving into a new home and we hope that they would do the same for us (on a side-note, the house we moved into has the highest degree of workmanship on their renos and the same water heater!)
     So why is my youth ministry blog all about renovations? Like our homes, our ministries are typically only ours for a season. How are you building your ministry for the next guy or girl?
     I believe that my ministry is to take unhealthy youth minstries, build in health and structure and release them so the next pastor can take it to the next level. I believe that my giftings help me to assess what changes need to be made and stick around for the next 5 or 6 years (or until terminated) to see those changes take place. My big goals aren't set in months but years. My goal is to always leave a ministry in a much better place than I found it.
     It's not a new concept by any means, but I always have the goal of becoming replaceable. I do not want to be the linchpin that holds together a youth ministry. I know I've reached success when I could leave for a year and things would be able to run fairly unchanged in my absence. It means buliding up great leaders who are bought into God's vision for that ministry. It means being consistent with your students, giving them a safe place to worship, ask questions, grow and be challenged. It means giving away responsibility and not having your finger in every pie or your foot in every door. I always got so much joy from telling my lead pastor, "You'll have to ask (insert leader's name here) about that, they've really done all the work on this one."
     It's not that I'm lazy, I think it takes more work to delegate than to do it myself quite often. I believe that a ministry shouldn't be build on one person. Jethro pointed out to Moses that, "this is not good". Jesus could have done it Himself but always chose to include others. Who am I to do differently?
     As you lead your group, are you thinking about the next leader and the next leader after that or are you focused on using your own charisma to build it up and keep it running? Will the ministry flounder and struggle when you are away or will be prepared to keep going? I'd love to hear your stories!

feel free to use anything I've written on this website in your own teaching but please give credit where credit is due :) explicittruth

18. My Other Office

joshksmith — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 16:27:46 GMT

     For the youth pastors out there, how many of you have ever referred to the local Starbucks as your "other office"? If you said yes, how many of you referred to the Starbucks a little further away as your "other other office"? For those who said yes, how many have referred to Starbucks as your office and your space in the church building as your "other office"?

      I am currently writing this post from my other office. I'm drinking my grande skinny vanilla latte listening to David Crowder through my earphones, writing a blog post while waiting for a call to say that my van is ready to be picked up.

     Do you remember the first time you went to Starbucks? I do. It was very intimidating. I actually didn't want to go to Starbucks because I felt so out of place. I'm used to Tim Hortons. I walk in and order a large coffee and I know what I'm getting. Smittys, Perkins, Dennys... I order a coffee, I get a coffee. The first time I went to Starbucks I had no idea what to get so I tried to order a large coffee. I refused to used their terminology because it made no sense to me. Why is grande the medium size? That sounds huge... so huge in fact that it's GRANDE! And why is the smallest size tall? I mean, it doesn't sound bigger than grande but still, it sounds impressive. I would never call the smallest person I know "tall".

     So I order my big coffee, and they won't even let that go. What kind of roast? I had no idea. Do I want a bold taste? Something smoother? I told them I wanted the one that tasted most like coffee. By now you may have realized that I'm not a hipster. I'm not a coffee snob. I appreciate that my beans were purchased at a fair price from 3rd world farmers but I don't really care how they are roasted and blended when they get here. I ended up with a Venti Pike's Roast. It was ok. It took a lot of visits to get comfortable and find I drink that I could order and enjoy. Grande Skinny Vanilla Latte. Why did I keep coming back even though I felt uncomfortable? Because that's what youth pastors do. They go to their other office and Tim Hortons doesn't have internet.

     What would make a student come to your youth group for the first time? What would make them come back? If a young person has never been to church, specifically your church, they may have no idea what to expect. They may have anxiety because they don't know the language. They have no idea what is expected of them. How stranger-friendly is your group? How do you greet the stranger?

     Up here in Canada many youth groups are kicking off this week (oh how I wish I was back in a ministry position now!). If you haven't yet, it's a great time to assess how welcoming you are and how well your group makes a new comer feel welcomed and wanted. What does your group do? What's worked well?

feel free to use anything I've written on this website in your own teaching but please give credit where credit is due :) explicittruth

17. King of Encouragement

joshksmith — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 19:23:18 GMT

      I have a folder at the back of one of my drawers that I rarely look at but is incredibly precious to me. I'm sure most pastors have a folder like this one. It's a folder that tells me I'm not a failure. No matter how many students complain about an event, no matter how many parents think they could do my job better than me, no matter how many staff members think that being a youth pastor is like living on some kind of dream cloud drinking coffee and hanging out all day, I have a folder that tells me I have done some good things. When I get great encouragement letters I put them in there. The kind of letters that aren't just, "You're great" or "You have beautiful kids". The kind of letters that someone had to write because something I've done helped them in a real way, somehow I've been able to help them grow closer to Jesus (yes, I know, I didn't actually do it, the Holy Spirit did, but I got to be there and be part of it).

     I don't go to that folder very often, maybe once every few years. I don't need a lot of encouragement. Don't get me wrong, it's wonderful! It feels good when people appreciate things I've done, but I don't "need" it to keep going. I am like an encouragement camel, I just need a little appreciation every now and then and I can keep going. Other people need it daily. They need to be reminded that they are doing well, that they are meeting expectations, that what they are doing is making a difference. Once again, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that's a bad thing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with desiring that encouragement, I just wish it didn't take me so long to recognize that.

     For years in ministry I thought people were like me. Volunteers knew I appreciated them, I didn't have to tell them, they should just know. I give them pizza, I let them work with students, I trust them. They should know I appreciate them, right?

     Perhaps you are a natural born encourager. You just naturally see people and want to encourage them, it's your God-given gift to lift people up. That's awesome! If you're like me, you may need to put in a little more effort. Once I recognized that other need encouragement from me (as the head of the ministry) I asked me assistant to make a sign to hang on my office wall with the words, "Encourage Someone Today".

     Do you know what's interesting? It meant a lot to people when I encouraged them. It meant so much to them that it bothered me. Am I so un-encouraging that the littlest morsel I give out means that much? Things had to change. I try to make it a habit to encourage others now. Not empty, shallow compliments but actually letting them know how much I appreciate who they are or what they are doing. It gives volunteers a feeling that they are actually doing well and acknowledges that our ministry is better because they are there.

     Have you been touched by some timely encouragement? Have you been able to make a habit of encouraging others? Do you have any unique events or things you do to show your appreciation?

feel free to use anything I've written on this website in your own teaching but please give credit where credit is due :) explicittruth

16. Full-Disclosure Candidating

joshksmith — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 23:35:19 GMT

     Something terrible happens when a church needs a youth pastor and a youth pastor needs a church, they are tempted to settle. I recently came back from a candidation visit that went very well. The church was great, the people were wonderful and the city is the dream location to raise our 4+ children, but something didn't feel right. There were some red flags. Something in my gut that wouldn't allow me to fully embrace the job opportunity, more importantly, there was a lack of peace in my spirit.

     To be honest, I would have taken the job back when I was starting out. I would have buried those flags and hoped they would go away. Now that I have more experience I know better. Just as I always tell my students and young leaders, never go into a relationship believing things will change for the better. They might, but don't bank on it. The flags I had would not likely go away, but get worse.

     You may be wondering, "What are these flags?" To be honest, there was nothing wrong with the church, I just didn't think I'd be a great fit there. I need more flexibility in my office hours than I think they were willing to work with. I also had some concerns with what I felt were control issues. There are many youth pastors who would be able to thrive in that church, I just don't think I am one of them, and I didn't hide it. They ended up not calling me to the church despite how well the weekend went and I believe that's largely because I held back no punches. I didn't hide my blemishes. I wanted them to know exactly who they were hiring if they hired me.

     This past week I had a preliminary interview in Calgary. It went extremely well, or at least that's my perception. At the end of the interview the executive pastor asked, "Josh, why should we hire you?" All I could say to him was, "If you chose to hire me, it would be most important that you know exactly who you are hiring." I went on to list every concern any supervisor has brought up with me. I brought up my need to have some flexibility in my office hours to suit my family. I told him what my strengths are and what I bring to the table. Finally, I told him exactly what he could and could not expect from me as a youth pastor.

     I realize that it may scare them off, but as I have learned, I'd much rather lose a job for who I am than get a job for who I'm not. So my advice to pastors and churches looking to fill the call to minister to students, never get into a relationship hoping things will fix themselves. Hope they will get better but assume they won't, and if you can live with that and love what you do, you're set up to win.

     I'd appreciate if you follow my Twitter and subscribe to the blog! Feedback? Have you been tempted to hide your true self to get a job (or a date)? Have you let great jobs pass you by due to red flags or jump in? How'd it turn out?

feel free to use anything I've written on this website in your own teaching but please give credit where credit is due :) explicittruth

15. Preaching Shirt

joshksmith — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 15:53:09 GMT

     First off I have to apologize to my readers, I broke the cardinal rule of blogging... I took time off. I know the number one rule of blogging is consistency, and I took a week off.  I was on Vancouver Island candidating for a youth pastor position. The photo on this post was taken during the weekend. In the end it did not work out but we are thankful for the opportunity to get to know the church and for them to get to know us (see my upcoming post on full disclosure while candidating).

     But this is humourous Friday, not serious Tuesday so I will address an entirely different topic... Preaching clothes.

     My brother told me a story years ago about his first computer programming job and dress codes. He went in his first day feeling quite uncomfortable because he had to dress nice. He put on his dockers and a golf shirt (or something like that) and went in to work. After some clients had come through his boss pulled him aside and told him that what he was wearing was unappropriate for the workplace.  For a moment my brother was confused and wondered if he'd have to wear a tie the next day. Au contraire mon frere!

     He was told that when clients come through they want to see nerds at messy computer stations wearing jeans and T-shirts with Atari symbols or lame jokes that non-programmers don't understand such as "I <3 Linux" or "I write poetry in COBOL".

     This made me think about the youth pastors dress code. During my entire candidation weekend I wore the youth pastors' uniform, plaid button down short sleeve shirt, shorts and flip flops.  That's pretty much the standard youth pastor look, you could substitute the plaid shirt for a tshirt with the logo of a missions trip, camp or retreat on the front.

     There is, of course, the exception. My students always knew when I was preaching because I wore my preaching shirt. I have expanded my collection and now have 4 or 5 preaching shirts, but really, they are all the same shirt.  It's the one shirt I have that fits properly, has no holes, no fading and no paint stains. Such a shirt that I refuse to hold my own baby before church because I don't want it spoiled by mashed cookie, drool or baby snot. Such a shirt that I take it off directly after church as to save it from extra wear and tear. Such a shirt that when I walk through the foyer students stop in their tracks and say, "Hey, you're preaching today!"

     I admit, I did take it a step too far. I put on a tie. Yes, for many youth pastors a tie is a noose but I did it. In my first church I pushed the boundaries of casual and was the first pastor in memory to preach in shorts and flip flops (which was allowed because we were leaving for camp immediately after the service) and at my last church I pushed the boundaries of formal by being the first pastor in recent memory to wear a tie while preaching (and trust me, my senior pastor was told how refreshing it was to see someone dressed properly to teach the Word!).

     So do you have a go to outfit when you preach? Do your students recognize at first glance that it's your morning on the stage?

feel free to use anything I've written on this website in your own teaching but please give credit where credit is due :) explicittruth

14. What Do You Do All Day? Part 2

joshksmith — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 17:46:58 GMT

     Back in the mid 90's there was a masked magician who put out videos revealing the secrets behind "magic" tricks, better known as illusions. He had to wear a mask, of course, because if other magicians found out who was giving away trade secrets they'd blacklist him at the very least. Well, at the risk of being on the black list I am going to peal back the veil and give you an answer to the question, "What do you do all day?"

     Youth pastors get asked the question, "What do you do all day?" about 5.7 times per day. Last Friday I wrote about the perception of the typical day in the life of a youth pastor, today's post is an actual look at a day in the life of a youth pastor. The most difficult part of answering the question, "What do you do all day?" is that there is no such thing as a "typical" day in youth ministry. As a youth pastor, I had a very long list of things to do (yes, a literal list that I kept on the right hand side of my desk) and I prioritized the items on my list. There are some things that wouldn't get touched for months at a time and, obviously, things that had to be completed that day. Sometimes a phone call comes in that is more important that anything on that list and changes your whole day... or week. So here's my best shot at giving a glimpse into a day in the life of a youth pastor.

     7am time to wake up with the kids (as in my own children. I take turns with my wife getting up with the kids, but on a typical work day my sleep in would be till 8am if Beckee's getting the kids). Get them fed and dressed and ready for school.

     8:45am Head off to church for prayer. (At my last church we had prayer meeting everyday at 9). If it's Tuesday that means meetings until lunch time, if not I'm at my desk by about 9:30. Check mail, email and phone messages. Some days this takes an hour or two, other days only a few minutes.

     Between 9 and lunch time I try to return emails and phone calls. Whether it's calling about camp reservations, calling parents, returning emails about a missions trip or booking a hotel for a youth convention there's usually plenty of phone calls and emails. I would typically try to spend some quiet time with God before lunch. I was once told by a supervisor that pastors shouldn't use "work" time for their "quiet" time with God. I personally think that's ridiculous. First, isn't that the most important thing a pastor can do? How can we empty ourselves if we are not first being filled? Secondly, a pastor's job doesn't end at 5pm, we are on call all the time. I spent many hours at home in the evening working on church stuff. I don't stop answering my phone or texts because it's no longer "office" hours. So yes, I did spend "work" time with God, and I don't feel bad about it.

     At lunch I would come home some days but quite often it's a chance to meet with students and leaders. One day a week I would head down to the local high school for the Christian club meeting, other days I would try to meet with my students and leaders.

     After lunch it's back to the office. I would try to work on my messages during the afternoons but often there would be a number of interruptions. We had a large staff so there were lots of "pop-ins" asking questions about different things. They say for a typical sermon you should spend one hour in preparation for every minute of teaching. I didn't do quite that much but I would put in 10-15 hours of prep for a message.

     I would need to take breaks from my messages, I just can't work on them 4 or 5 hours straight so during my breaks I would go to my list and do things that needed to be done like work on the calendar, design brochures, update the Website, line up speakers for upcoming events and other tasks.

     If it's a Tuesday of Friday I would have to spend some time getting things ready for the evening. If it's Tuesday that means pulling music, putting together the presentation stuff, connecting with leaders and making sure the room was ready for that night. Friday means a lot of different things depending on the night, but typically a lot of set up was needed for Friday events.

     Other things that take up time, if the students were free in the afternoon that's a great time to meet for coffee. Texting and calling about different things from worship teams to drivers to leaders. I have students' school pictures taped to my wall that includes students from 2003 to the present and I would pray for those students a few times a day. Talking with students on Facebook is a also a great way to connect but takes a good chunk of time away from other work.

     As I mentioned, a pastor's job doesn't end at 5pm. If there's not youth that night there are often sports games, plays and concerts that students are involved in. And it doesn't happen often but we get our share of phone calls at night from students who truly need some help. Sometimes it's a call from someone you know, other times it's a stranger need spiritual guidance. So that's what we do all day.

     It's not as flashy and exciting as it sounds. It's typically not very physically demanding but emotionally and mentally it is an extremely demanding job. I don't think someone could do it for very long if it's not something they are truly called to and have a passion for. Your youth pastor would surely appreciate your prayers and support!!

feel free to use anything I've written on this website in your own teaching but please give credit where credit is due :) explicittruth

13. What Do You Do All Day? Part 1

joshksmith — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 16:44:43 GMT

     Have you ever been asked, "What do you do all day?" If you are a youth pastor you've probably been asked this numerous times by your students, parents, staff and your spouse. The position of "Youth Pastor" (or "Pastor of Student Ministries" for those a little more up-to-date or "Emerging Generations Pastor" for those who live on the bleeding edge) is shrouded in mystery.

     Today I'm going to share the common perception so that those who are in youth ministry can laugh at the silly commoners (or "civi's") as we call them and their misunderstanding of the role of the Youth Pastor. Tune in next Tuesday as I peal back the veil to give an actual look inside, "A Day in the Life of a Youth Pastor". But first, let's have some fun.

The Perception
     It's 10am on a Wednesday. That means time for the youth pastor to get out of bed. As he (yes, I'm using he. This doesn't mean only boys can be youth pastors, it just means I don't want to write he/she and I'm a boy so.....) slowly opens his eyes to the bright morning sun he listens as his wife and children are playing quietly in the living room.

     He slides out of bed, finds yesterday's shorts and T-shirt, gives them a quick smell check. They don't smell that bad so he gets dressed and goes to the bathroom for his morning ritual. Empties bladder. Brushes teeth. Observes stubble on face, "Yes, the soul patch is growing in nicely... perhaps I should grow out the goatee for Ol' Skool Nite."

     Goes downstairs and grabs iPhone. Checks email, only junk mail from the senior pastor, he'll get to that later. Checks Facebook to see who's dating who and who's broken up. Checks Twitter to see if Doug Fields finally reTweeted him... he didn't. Checks his text messages, most of which start with , "Dude!"

     By 11:30 it's time to start the work day, but there's no point in going to the office for 10 minutes and coming home for lunch so he turns on MTV to do some "research" on teen culture. It's noon and his turn to make lunch for the wife and kids so he warms up some pizza pops.

     By 1:30 it is time to get busy. He slides on his flip flops and drives to his office, and by office I mean Starbucks. He pulls out his lappy to get down to business. As he sips on his specialty coffee (feeling good about his purchase because the posters in Starbucks tell him how great he is for purchasing Starbucks coffee) he takes care of important business. That's right, he checks his emails. Oh, another email from the senior pastor marked urgent... read that one later. Check the Facebook, apparently those grade 9 students that were "in a relationship" since 9am have now become "single". Text them quick to make sure everything's ok. Within 3 seconds he gets two texts back, everything is ok, both students are now in a relationship with someone else. Checks Twitter. Still nothing from Doug.

     Around 2:30 he goes to the Youth Specialties website. Nothing new since yesterday, checks job postings. Considers sending in a resume "just for fun" but realizes that would mean writing a resume and decides to go catch up on Jesus Needs New PR see what's happening on the YouTube.

     By 4 he rolls into the church parking lot and checks in at the other office. Realizing it's a youth night and he has to be home by 5 he gets to work on the message. Carefully he pulls out a curriculum book and studies the lesson for tonight. Feeling confident about the message he is back at Starbucks at 4:15 to meet with some students. After talking to the kids about what happened last night on America's Got Talent he heads home for supper with the family.

     6:30 he's back at the church for youth. Kids come in. They go through their worship songs, he leads the Bible study (right from the curriculum book) and they go to small groups. Afterwards he heads out to Taco Bell with some leaders and students and, of course, he's paying because of the two most beautiful words in the English language - "church budget". He ends his evening with watching SportsCenter before bed.

     Have you felt this perception? Have you never been asked, "What you do all day?" Do you ask them what they do all day? As you read this did you just realize... "Hey, that does sound like my Wednesday!"? Subscribe/Feedback

feel free to use anything I've written on this website in your own teaching but please give credit where credit is due :) explicittruth

12. What's My Name? (How Important Am I?)

joshksmith — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 17:22:08 GMT

     Have you ever had a student come up and say to you, "I'll bet you don't know my name" or plainly, "What's my name?" You know this student is not simply trying to find out how good your memory is, they are asking, "How important am I here?" "How important am I to you?"

     What was your response? Did you confidently look at them and call them by name? First and last? Reply not only with their first and last name but favorite flavour of pizza, favorite past time and pet's name? Did you blankly stare back at them deciding if you should come clean or make an excuse? Should you just apologize and say something like, "I'm sorry, I'm terrible with names." Go on the offensive? "Oh yeah? What's my name?" Do you stall hoping someone will call out their name? "Surreeee, chief. Of course I know your name... you are very... very... very important (scanning the room for someone who can clue you in). I would never... ever... ever forget someone's name like yours... sport." Did you grab the closest leader and say, "Hey, have you two met before?" and wait for your leader to introduce himself by name and the student to offer theirs?

     Obviously knowing names is important. I tell all of my leaders (and myself) constantly that no student should be able to come to our group a second time and not be greeted by name. (Of course this is easier in smaller groups, but just as important in larger groups, maybe even more important in larger groups). Andy Stanley said, "It's easy to stumble out of church. It's almost impossible to stumble out of community." The more a student feels known, they more they feel valued. The more they feel valued, the more connected they will become.

     Some people are great at remembering names, you hear a name once and it's locked in. Others are like me. I literally have forgotten people's names within seconds of being introduced. If you are like me you are going to have to use some techniques to keep it in there. There are some classic strategies. Repeat their name several times in that first conversation, "Nice to me you Troy. So Troy, what school do you go to? It was great to meet you Troy, I'll Troy to you later." Try to connect that person's face and name with something you can easily remember. For example, my old roommate's name was Troy, next time I see that person I'll think, that kid smells like alphaghetti, so did my old roommate, Troy! You could use the people around you, as soon as you see a student walk in the door grab a leader and ask, "Hey what's that kid's name? Are you sure?"

      One other thing that we have done that worked great was a photo wall. Knowing that I am not good with names we developed a plan to put up pictures and names. We had some big cork boards up in our youth room and we took a picture of every student that came to our Bible study. We would write their name on their photo and glue it to an envelope which became their youth group mailbox. It works great and helps you connect with your students by making it easy to give them handwritten notes (especially notes written on photocopies of your face!) Just make sure everyone gets mail... otherwise they check week after week after week with a disappointingly empty mailbox.

     Have you come up with great ways to mask your forgetfulness? What do you do when you can't remember a name?

feel free to use anything I've written on this website in your own teaching but please give credit where credit is due :) explicittruth

11. 8 Simple Steps to Let A Boy Know You're Not Interested

joshksmith — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 13:10:14 GMT

I've been looking forward to this post since I started the blog! You could call this "God Told Me We Should Date - Part 2" This is for every girl who's ever been pursued and didn't know how to let the boy down easily. Girls, you are wonderful, I know you don't want to be mean. I know boys put you in an awkward place when they lay it out on the line, so here's how to let him know you are not interested in him, in 8 simple steps.

Just before I get into the steps, you don't need to engage these steps only when you know someone likes you. Girls are notorious for not picking up on the signs that a boy likes her. Men out there, how often have you told a girl that a guy is interested in her and she replies with a, "No way! We're just friends!" when you know for a matter of fact that he's head over heels for her? In fact, this blog post originated as a message to a friend of mine that didn't know how to let a boy know she wasn't interested after I presented her with proof that he was, indeed, quite interested. You can pretty much always use these steps just to be safe. So here we go (this is a cut & paste of the aforementioned message, with the names changed of course)...

K, 93% of boys will pick up on these hints, however, 7% will not and you may just have to be rude.

How to subtly let a boy you are not interested:

Step 1: Mention other boys' names to him, but don't make it obvious, bring them up in conversation. This let's him know he's not the only player in the game. For example: Boy says, "What's new Sarah?" Sarah replies, "Not much, just went for supper last night with Matthew."

Now the boy does not need to know that Matthew is your older brother, the less he knows about the other boys the better. If you really want to bring home your uninterest, throw in a compliment about the boy you were with. Boy says, "Hey Sarah, what's new?" Sarah says, "Not much Boy, just hanging out with Troy tonight, I'm excited cause he plays guitar and we love singing together." At this point listen carefully because you just may be able to here the boy's heart break a little. Do not mention that Troy is the married leader of your worship team until the boy has safely moved on and is dating someone else.

Step 2: Compare him to people with zero dateable potential, this let's him know you see him as being as dateable as a potato. Never compare him to your father because everyone knows that (at least in theory) girls are attracted to boys who have similar character traits to their fathers. For example, "Has anyone ever told you that you look kinda like Ellen Degeneres? (also you could use Rosie O'donnell, Michael Moore, Grandparents, Santa Clause or Stephen Harper. Never compare him to your father, Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt or James Dean.... or your youth pastor )

Step 3: Only give him safe compliments or compliments with an addendum. This let's him know you are indeed a nice person, but not secretly trying to hint to him that the ball is rolling.

Safe Compliment: "Your youth group looks like so much fun"
Compliment with an addendum: "That was fun hanging out with you guys, it was awesome to get to know Samantha and Brad is so funny!" or if you laugh at one of his jokes say something like, "That's funny, you remind me of our senior pastor, except he's in his 60's."

Step 4: Whenever the talk turns to relationships of any kind tell him that you really enjoy being single (this let's him think that he is dateable for someone, but that you truly aren't in a place to let the ball begin rolling). Tell him that being free of a relationship with a guy really allows you to work on your relationship with God (hopefully this is a true statement, remember, if you believe it it's not a lie.) Also, throw in (and make sure he clearly hears this next statement) "I know that when I meet the right guy I'll know it, and I haven't felt that yet with anyone I know."

Step 5: Encourage him to think about other girls. This is a near fail-proof way to show boys you aren't interested, once again, there are boys who will completely miss this, they are the dangerous ones that will eventually ask you out no matter what and you might have to be rude. If he mentions another girl, don't jump on that right away. There's a chance that he'll mention all these great girls just to see how you'll react but when you hint that maybe there's a spark there for him and this other girl, it gives him a chance to say she's not quite what he's looking for and let you know that you are quite what he's looking for.

Wait until he expresses some interest, he may even try to disguise it by saying something like, "What if a guy kinda liked two girls, one he gets along great with and they like each other, but he likes the other one more but doesn't know if she feels the same?" (ps. he may also do this but leave out the first girl) In case you didn't already pick it up, he's the boy and you're the girl that he doesn't know if she likes him or not. Tell him things like, "I couldn't imagine you with a blonde (or whatever your hair colour happens to be)" or direct him to the girl that you are positive is not you.

Also, tell him you know girls that would be perfect for him, preferably girls that you are willing to send him to or girls there's no chance he'll ever meet. For example, "You would love my friend Miranda, you guys have the same sense of humor." You could throw in something like, "Me and Miranda are nothing alike but I think you guys would hit it off for sure."

Step 6: Deflect all compliments and gifts. This gives you the appearance of humility and lets him know that you're not basking in the glow of his affection. For example, he gives you flowers, ask him if it's ok if you give them to your mom cause she's having a rough day. If he says you have a beautiful smile say, "Do you know who has an amazing smile? My friend Miranda." Also, if he compliments you in written form just ignore it, change the subject.

Step 7: Let him know you are definitely looking for different things in the future. For example, if he wants lots of kids you're not sure you want any. He likes to travel the world you like to stay at home and watch tv. He loves cats you want to hit them with your car. He wants a stay at home wife and you want to be a senior pastor.

Finally, Step 8: In texts, emails, FBs, Tweets and the like, always take your time to reply. This lets him know he's not your priority. If he writes on your wall, write his back after you've already written on mutual friends' walls.

For example, you go on a group outing with him, you could write on Samantha's wall, "It was so awesome to meet you. I love your taste in music!" Then write on Brad's wall, "It was so cool hanging out with guys! I'm going to beat your score next time!" Then write on Boy's wall something like, "Hey that was so cool hanging out. I like bowling alot, especially since I rarely do it." If he's paying attention to his mini feed he'll notice that you DID compliment Samantha but not him, also he'll notice you left the door open to go bowling with Brad but not him. This let's him know that bowling was the highlight of your evening and not the chance to be around him.

So there you go, 8 simple steps to showing a boy your disinterest. I know it's long but this is important stuff. Once again, you may follow these steps completely and he may still end up asking you out. At that point tell him you're married to Jesus and can't date because God is a jealous God.

Feel free to forward this to all of your girl friends. Subscribe to the blog. Leave your comments, they make me happier than you know.

feel free to use anything I've written on this website in your own teaching but please give credit where credit is due :) explicittruth

10. Using Guilt for God

joshksmith — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 16:11:22 GMT

     Everyday I hear my children use the same line over and over and over. I have four daughters under the age of 10 and I didn't have to teach any one of them how to use a guilt trip to get what they want (though I probably taught them without even trying).  The most common phrase in our house these days is "Ok, I guess you don't want to play with me then."

     What this means is, "Ok, since you aren't playing the way I want you to play, then I won't play with you." Since you don't love me enough to always be the boy Barbie I won't play with you. Since you don't love me enough to always be the Dad when we play house I won't play with you. Since you don't love me enough to let me play with your favorite toys I'm not going to play with you.

     Do you ever find yourself using guilt trips in your preaching?  Ok, yeah, yeah I know, the Bible says that, "When [the Holy Spirit] comes, He will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgement" (John 16:8). But sometimes your students need a little help because the way they are acting is proof that they aren't feeling as convicted as they ought to, so we need to turn up the heat a little bit.  Besides, the Holy Spirit will use whatever means necessary to convict these students, and your message happens to be the means.

     Those who have heard me teach know that I don't teach "You're-OK-I'm-OK" messages. I've been confronted in the past that my messages always end with a challenge, which is true. But I also try to make it clear that I'm not trying to give them a guilt trip, BUT if we truly love God shouldn't it show? Shouldn't we want to talk to people about Him?

     Guilt trips are definitely not confined to our teaching! We can use it so many places. Having poor attendance to your events? Tell your student, "Hey, if soccer is more important than Jesus to you, I totally understand that you'll be missing Duct Tape Night." Parents not putting a priority on sending their kids to your Bible study? Tell them, "I totally understand they need to stay home and study to get into college... hey, speaking of college studies, did you hear that 70-90% of students leave the church after highschool? Wonder why that is..." Church isn't giving you a good budget? Tell your pastor, "Hey, I understand that the youth don't tithe so they don't get as much of the budget, it's good for them to learn their place before they become the main financial supporters of the church." Wife thinks you're spending too much time at the church? Tell her, "Hey hun, I'm doing God's work! You don't want me to do God's work?" (If you have used this last one, go to your wife (and children if applicable) now, as in, this very instant, and beg them to forgive you. Then go to your church and tell them you will no longer be working 40 hours in the office and three nights a week with youth and attedning every evening and weekend staff event and an hour before and after both services. And while you're at it, let them know that a youth retreat is not "holidays" and after the next retreat they'll be lucky to see you in the office by Thursday).

     So here's my point, be aware of the words you use (see, always have to end with a challenge).  Perhaps you are like me and you've gotten so accustomed to throwing out guilt trips that you don't even realize you are doing it anymore. Perhaps you know exactly what you are doing and that's why you are doing it. Leave the convicting up to the Holy Spirit and teach what God lays on your heart (but don't forget being a prophet doesn't give you license to be a jerk, only speak for God when He's asked you to, otherwise you are in trouble!). Give people the freedom to be committed to your events/Bible studies/church or not. Do me a favour and subscribe to the blog, it's fun! I mean, you don't have to subscribe, I understand that you don't want your email being cluttered up with updates of how you can be a better Chirstian... Feedback? Have you caught yourself throwing around some heavy guilt trips? Been taken on one too many yourself?


feel free to use anything I've written on this website in your own teaching but please give credit where credit is due :) explicittruth

09. God Told Me We Should Date

joshksmith — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 17:32:48 GMT

                                                                          How often does this scene play out? A young Christian man witnesses the beauty of a young Christian lady. He falls... hard. He tells her how beautiful she is and that he would like to date her. Unfortunately for him, while he's desperately seeking a closer relationship with her, she is desperately seeking a closer relationship with God. She is flattered, she doesn't what to hurt his feelings but she knows she needs to not be in a relationship right now. (*Girls - You DO NOT want to miss next Friday's post - "8 Simple Steps to Showing a Guy You Are Not Interested"!!!)

     The boy walks away crushed, of all of God's creation she was created more equal than any other. Desperately he prays that God will make her fall in love with him, then inspiration hits! He will use his trump card, he will use the one argument that no girl can resist. Tomorrow he will sit her down, some quiet serene place, look deep into her eyes and tell her, "God told me that we should date."

     How can you argue with God? If God said we should date then there's no other option, we need to date... now... please. Now guys out there who are thinking, "This is brilliant!", before you go to that girl let me make it clear, NEVER EVER EVER pull out the "God told me we should date" card. Even if you believe it, if God truly wants you to date He will make it happen, pray that He tells her. If she doesn't listen when God tells her, do you really want to date her???

     So you're probably asking, "Josh, if I can't use my silver bullet, how do I convince her to go out with me?" Well I'm not one to leave a brother in a lurch. So here are 4 Simple Steps to Show a Girl You are Interested:

1. Ok, sincerely, joking aside, a godly woman will be attracted to a godly man. I once confessed my admiration for a young lady and she told me that she wanted me to fall in love with Jesus before I fell in love with a girl. Best thing that ever happened to me! Before you go seeking a relationship, before you go falling for a girl, fall desperately in love with God. It will be the best thing for you, and if a girl is attracted to a boy sincerely lost in worship, that can't hurt either.

2. Be cool, but not cold. The girl you want is not attracted to a guy who drools over her. She wants to be admired but not by a stalker. Also, she needs some indication that you are interested, don't go gaga every time she comes near, but don't completely ignore her hoping that she'll find you mysterious.

3. Play with kids. This doesn't mean that you meet her at a local playground and start pushing random children on the swings... that's just creepy. But we all know that most girls are attracted to men who are comfortable around children, it shows them that you have potential to be a good dad.

4. Group date. Don't try to corner her. Don't ask her, as a friend, to coffee and ambush her with your love. Oh how I wish I could have convinced young men out of this tactic before it was too late... those poor, poor girls. When friends are getting together, be there. Spend more time talking with her, but not all your time. Show her that you have the ability to have other healthy relationships.

5. This isn't a step to showing her you are interested, but an important step. Talk to your youth pastor/college and career leader. Youth Pastors know a lot more than you think. We are not just great for God advice but relationship advice also. Before you confess your love, bounce it off your pastor. Give us the chance to talk you down from the ledge before you jump. We may have some very valuable insight to save you.

     So those are the do's, but I must give you a short list of DON'TS. DO NOT...

1. Facebook stalk her. I know you want to show your interest but it really freaks girls out when you start commenting and liking every post, picture and link that she puts up. Pretend she is one of your friends and only like/comment as often as you would with any other person.

2. Join a ministry to impress her. As a youth pastor I've had my share of guys want to be a youth leader to be closer to a girl he likes, who also happens to be a youth leader. DON'T! Just because she mentions she likes worship doesn't mean you need to go buy a guitar and join the worship team. Just because she likes kids doesn't mean you should go sign up to teach Sunday School. Just don't do it!!!

3. Don't read a book or walk across the city. For the same girl my roommate read a 640 page book on Normal Schwarzkopt because she said it was interesting and I walked from one end of the city to the other because she thought it would be fun. Neither of us got the girl. Just because a girl makes a random comment doesn't make it your mission... she will not be as impressed as you thought.

     So I hope this has been helpful, once again, girls, DO NOT miss next Friday's post. Guys, you have one week to work these steps before I teach the girls how to deflect them. It would be cool if you subscribe to my blog! Give me feed back, have you ever done something to get that guy/girl that didn't work? That did?

feel free to use anything I've written on this website in your own teaching but please give credit where credit is due :) explicittruth

08. Results Show Psych-Out

joshksmith — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 05:12:38 GMT

     It may seem like the only thing I think about is youth ministry, but every once in a while I'll think of something and I'll chuckle to myself. Hopefully these things will give you a good laugh also. I'll stick with the Serious Tuesdays and Humorous Fridays and every now and then a bonus none-youth-ministry-related blog. Today is one of those days.

       So I was watching SYTYCDCanada*. You may not have seen it, but if you've seen any talent-based competition-style reality show you've probably seen the psych out results. Like last night, Leah Miller kept saying things like, "Will you be going home? Yes, I'm sorry you will... but not tonight! You're still in the competition!" or "I'm afraid we won't be seeing you dance on this stage again... until next week! You got enough votes!"

     First of all, it's old. Seacrest played it out years ago. Second of all, how has this not made it into real life? As some of you know I am currently looking for a job. How great would it be if a church phoned me up and the conversation went something like this.

Good evening, Smith residence.

Hi, is Josh there?

Speaking.

Hey, this is First Church calling, we've looked over your resume and I'm sorry to say we're not interested... in anyone else! Your resume is excellent and smells like vanilla, which is really confusing since you emailed it to us! We'd love to offer you the position, however, it's already taken... a really long time to find you! You are a great fit, we'd love for you to start September 1st. The only problem is we've called your references and quite honestly they had nothing good to say... about themselves! They were too busy telling us how great you are! The only problem is that the salary is quite low.

Sorry, you cut off there.

Sorry, I was saying the salary is quite loaded with zeros! Our congregation watched a video of one of your sermons last night and voted on whether or not to call you to our church. The response was overwhelming! Would you like to know the results of the vote?

Absolutely I would.

Well I'll tell you... right after this short break!

     So tell me, what is a situation you wish you could pull the psych out or have it pulled on you?

*So You Think You Can Dance Canada

feel free to use anything I've written on this website in your own teaching but please give credit where credit is due :) explicittruth

07. Necessary Evil

joshksmith — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 17:55:33 GMT

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Have you ever been asked, "How big is your church?" My typical response is, "I'm not sure, maybe 20 thousand square feet." Of course they are asking how many people attend your church, more importantly, how many students attend your youth ministry? This is an important question, of course, because the more kids you have the better youth pastor you are. I've been to many youth ministry conferences and been asked many times, "How many kids do you have?" I really don't like this question. It feels like someone asking, "How many head of cattle do you have? How big is your ranch? What's your volume?"
    And there's typically 3 types of responses. First, there's the people with the big groups, the hundred plus. The ones that ask you how many students you have just so they can tell you how many they have. To these guys I want to say, "That's cool that you are sitting in on this session, when are you teaching?" or simply reply with, "Yeah, but my wife is hotter." The second response is the apologetic response with an addendum. Something like, "Well, we only have 10 or 15 kids but... (choose one of the following a) we're from a small church b) I just started c) we're across the street from Saddleback d) my last church ran 250 and I came to fix this one). Finally, the third response is a small number with attitude. "Yeah, we have 20 kids, y'know, kids keep coming but we send them to other churches because we don't want to get big and impersonal like those "other" ministries."
     So I've explained the evil, where's the necessary? Here's the bottom line, Jesus said that we can judge a tree by it's fruit. There comes a time that we need to look at our attendance and see what is our fruit? Are you at the exact same number of students that you were 5 years ago? Are you at less? It's not about the numbers, I fully agree with that statement. On the other hand, I can't escape the fact that God is in the business of changing lives and giving life, and if you are experience life-giving life-change in your ministry, shouldn't people be attracted to that? Shouldn't you be growing?
     With that said, I also need to say that numbers is not the only quantifiable growth. Your group may not be growing no matter what you are doing right, and it may grow no matter what you are doing wrong. It's not only about the attendance but you need to look at your other fruit. Are kids growing closer to God? Are you? Are they growing deeper in their faith and understanding? Are you developing leaders sold out to God's vision for your ministry? Are kids more interested in their Bibles? Is your teaching growing? Are people more engaged and connected than a year ago? Do kids have the opportunity to serve? Are students sharing their faith with others? Are you?
     As always, I would LOVE to hear your feedback! How many do you run?

feel free to use anything I've written on this website in your own teaching but please give credit where credit is due :) explicittruth

06. Pink Slip Award

joshksmith — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 20:26:43 GMT

So I recently lost my job, I didn't get an actual pink slip though. One of my favorite books (and it should be yours too!) is "Getting Fired for the Glory of God: Collected Words of Mike Yaconelli for Youth Workers". I've got to be honest, I've always felt a little bit of shame that I had never been radical enough to be fired. I'm sure if Jesus worked in many of our churches He wouldn't have lasted very long before being let go. There is some shame in being fired (or "released" or "given the opportunity to follow other ministry goals") but at the same time, I'm proud of the work I've done and there is a part of me that feels I've attained something special, I believe I have been fired for the glory of God. So this is getting dangerously close to a serious post and it's Friday so let's switch gears.
     There's an old saying in youth ministry (I think I hear it most often from Tic Long and Mark Oesteicher) that if there isn't a rule in your church because of you, you're not doing your job. Now I'm not saying you should just go out and do stupid stuff just so you can claim there is a rule in your honour, but if you are being your wild and wacky youth pastor self, there's a good chance you'll have the senior pastor, custodian and chairman of the board coming into your office at some asking how chocolate pudding got on the ceiling of the gym or telling you they have no idea where Senior Pastor's garden gnomes are but they'd better be returned within 24 hours.
     A good friend of mine informed me that there is a new rule in place at his church because of him, they are no longer allowed to sled or snowboard off the roof of the church. In my last church, we are no longer allowed to use duct tape to tape up tarps around the gym to turn it into an indoor water park. Another friend said they are no longer allowed to use the baptismal tank for hot tub parties.
     There's a delicate balance between having a youth ministry that is nothing but fun and a ministry that doesn't have enough fun. I removed "fun" for a while from our youth ministry. I'm not a big fan of games nights and big events, but I really began to miss just playing together. I think it's important that we do big things that are memorable. Not every night has to be a huge event that everyone is facebooking and tweeting as soon as they get home, but after I took the fun events off our calendar for a few months I looked back and thought we had no great stories to tell. There were no, "you had to be there!" moments. Nothing specific that our kids could look back on and say, "that was awesome!" We returned the fun and we have more stories and we built great memories. We played together and built stronger relationships.
     So what have been some of your groups' most memorable moments? Was it the time you nearly had your jugular cut playing a game of "Deadly Shingles" or when you won a game of "Don't Flinch No Matter What"? Is there a rule in your church just because of you? I'd love to hear your stories!

feel free to use anything I've written on this website in your own teaching but please give credit where credit is due :) explicittruth

05. Follow the Leader

joshksmith — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 19:09:39 GMT

    It's Tuesday which means blog day! I was recently talking to a younger friend about his future and he felt like his not-to-distant future will involve upfront church leadership. He cited the fact that people talk about his leadership abilities often. I asked him the same question that I ask anybody that tells me they are made for leadership. "Look behind you, is anyone following you?" I'm not sure where I got that question, probably retained it from a John C. Maxwell video that a senior pastor made the staff watch or perhaps I came across it during a mandatory read of some Bill Hybels book, regardless of where I get the question, it's a good one.
    The childhood game, Follow the Leader, is not very fun by yourself. What's the point in putting yourself in awkward, even dangerous positions, if no one will follow? (Ok, so the analogy isn't perfect, but you get the point.) You may consider yourself a gifted and effective leader, but if there's no one lining up behind you, you may just be a loner.
    If you are a youth pastor or volunteer reading this I'm going to go ahead and assume that you have some leadership abilities. That those leadership abilities have been affirmed by your church/youth leadership, that people are following you and that someone is investing in that gift to help you become a better leader. (Yes, I know, that is an incredibly bold assumption, but if the leaders above you are effective leaders they are pouring into you as a leader so that you, as an effective leader, can pour into those coming after you.)
    Now that we've established that you have some level of leadership, the most important question is, "Where are you leading them?" Have you ever had a free afternoon in an unfamiliar city and you had no agenda? Perhaps you are in Toronto and you want to get to the CN Tower. You have no timeline, no pressing schedule, you just want to get there eventually and enjoy the company while you do it. It can be fun getting lost, driving in circles, recognizing streets you've already driven, taking in the sites, sounds and smells of your host city, stopping at interesting shops along the way and keeping your eye out for famous people (as a side note, I did run into Ed Robertson of the Bare Naked Ladies last time I was in Toronto). When you are on vacation it can be so fun to get lost. When you are a leader, especially a youth pastor/leader, you need to know where you are going. It is no fun to be in the car with a leader who has some idea of an eventual nice-to-get-there-if-we-can goal but no discernable plan to get there.
    As youth pastors, we are often very laid back and our methods may not be "conventional" but we do need to have a clear vision of where we want to go. Do you know where you are going? Do you have a clear vision of where you want your students to be one year from now? Do you have any idea how to get them there? Are you able to communicate your vision to your volunteers and church leadership? Several months ago I wanted to evaluate my communication so I asked our small groups a number of diagnostic questions. One of them was, "Based on my teaching, your small groups and youth events, what do you think are the 5 most important things I want you to take out of youth ministry?" I have to admit I was pleased that they were getting it.
    As I candidate for my next youth pastor position I will ask different team members, both staff and volunteer, what is the church's main vision? What would cause someone to drive past other churches to get to yours? What would attract a non-church-going person to your church? Can the people in your church and ministry answer that question?

feel free to use anything I've written on this website in your own teaching but please give credit where credit is due :) explicittruth

04. Top 10 Ways to Procrastinate

joshksmith — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 16:12:37 GMT

    Today is Friday, which is humour blog day (humor for our American readers). I'm sitting here on Facebook listening to Bon Iver drinking my morning coffee thinking of what to write about, realizing that I was killing time on Facebook instead of blogging I thought, let's blog about procrastinating.
    Before I get to that though, yes, the picture on this post is my actual workspace. The filter on my iPhone (Hipstamatic) makes it look much cooler than it actually is.
    You may have noticed that youth pastors are all quite similar. They all own many plaid shirts, both long and short sleeve. They have some kind of facial hair, often a goatee but more current youth pastors simply go with a good week's worth of stubble. They play guitar. They are charismatic and have really, really good looking wives. Sure this isn't true of all youth pastors, but many. In the same way, children's pastors are all quite similar, senior pastors, worship pastors. There's something in our DNA that draws us to that area of ministry, our volunteers are extremely varied, but the pastors are quite similar. (I'm not the only one who has noticed this, have you seen the youth pastors on The Middle or King of the Hill?) One of the things a youth pastor needs is the ability to adapt quickly to sudden changes. Often that ability comes with a certain laid-back-ness, which is often accompanied by a natural ability for procrastination. So here's a youth pastors top ten ways to procrastinate list. Enjoy, don't use it too often!

10. Go on 1001 Free Fonts and find cool new fonts because you know how important a good font is! It's not procrastinating, it's ministry research!

9. Clean off your desk. I tried to make a habit of cleaning my desk at least once a week. I don't know that I accomplished that because every time I finished at least 7 staffers would comment on how clean my desk was.

8. Go on the NYWC, CYWC or SYM websites to see who's speaking this year and decide which you will go to

7. Look for new iPhone apps. (If you have a smart phone chances are you will pay through the nose if you use it out of country. I went to SYM in Chicago last year and had to take my wife's stupid phone because it doesn't use data. How embarrassed I was when I was at a table of youth pastors. They all placed their iPhones on the table and silenced them and I've got my wife's LG Rumor 2 Slide phone. I wanted to tell them I was one of them but I sat silently in shame)

6. Leaf through the latest addition of Neu Magazine for some short articles to read. Once again, not procrastination, ministry research.

5. Go on Facebook. Very few people can not relate to the black whole of time that is Facebook. Also, one of the most important youth ministry resources you can have

4. Download all your free Starbucks music. If you don't know, Starbucks gives away a free song every week. I only pull these out when I'm desperate to not do something. The last time I downloaded my music I had about 20 cards, 8 of which had already expired.

3. Write encouragement cards and emails to your students and leaders. In a brilliant stroke of procrastinating genious I once photocopied my face about 60 times (with as many different facial expressions as possible) and wrote every student and leader an encouragement card. Sure, some of them said it was kind of creepy, but many of them have it to this day! (I think I did this in 2004 or 2005) I heard one of them even hung it on their wall... talk about creepy

2. Rearrange your bookshelves. It's so hard to find the book you're looking for so spend some time rearranging them into categories. You have your Bibles on one shelf, your commentaries, your devotionals, your apologetics, your comic books, your Rob Bell, your Mike and Mark Yaconelli sections. Keep it organized, it's not really procrastinating because you're saving time in the long run.

1. And the number one way for a youth pastor to procrastinate? Go to explicittruth.com and read Josh's youth ministry blog! (I have heard that at least one of you have used my blog to procrastinate. If I can help just one person this has all been worth it!)

    I hope you find this helpful in your own times of need. So tell me, what are your favorite ways to procrastinate? I love to get your comments! We also have our first blog subscriber but we are down to 19 Twitter followers. God Bless Y'all, see you Tuesday!

feel free to use anything I've written on this website in your own teaching but please give credit where credit is due :) explicittruth

03. Integrity is Worth More than a Great Story

joshksmith — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 01:26:07 GMT

    When I was in highschool I really, really wanted a car. I finally had my license and the only thing between me and freedom was the fact that I had to beg my parents to borrow their car before I could go anywhere. I finally set my eyes on a sick ride but was a little short on cash. I devised a fool-proof plan to raise the money. I made a bet with a bunch of kids from school that I would walk through the school cafeteria wearing nothing but my signature fedora. I was able to get people to bet $300 that I wouldn't actually do it. Well the day came and I was sick with anxiety but a few moments of humiliation can't compare to a summer of freedom. The lunch room was packed! Just as I entered the room and covered what I could with my fedora the school principal grabbed me because the school bully, Dwayne tipped him off!
     Ok, so that didn't actually happen to me, it was an episode of Degrassi, but you could imagine right? My blog today is about stretching the truth to make a point. At a time when trust is such a precious commodity, don't take the temptation to add power to message by passing off someone else's story as your own or making up a story and passing it off as true. I know for many of you this sounds pretty elementary, but it happens. Likely more than you think. Perhaps you've done it. Perhaps you've felt your testimony could use a little punching up. You didn't outright lie but you made something sound worse than it was because it might give you credibility with a certain crowd. For example, instead of telling them that you had one sip of alcohol in your life and that was given to you when you were in eighth grade by your Uncle Fred at a wedding and you nearly puked at the taste of it, you tell them that you struggled with alcohol at an early age but with God's grace overcame it.
    Perhaps you've found the perfect illustration for your youth talk but it doesn't have the same impact when simply told as a story so you decide to tell it as your own story.
    My youth professor in Bible college shared a story about a time (he claims this story is true) that he had a speaker come in for a youth event. The speaker told an amazing story about something that had happened in his past. After the message a student approached the speaker and said something to the effect of, "That didn't happen to you. I read about that in the paper." The speaker informed the student that it didn't happen to him but the story sounds better when it's told in the first person. Now, I know you and I would never do such a thing, because that kid caught the speaker in a lie and called him a fraud. Because of a fake story the student felt he couldn't believe anything the speaker said. Of course you and I would never compromise our integrity for the perfect illustration!  But then again, maybe we would.
     Perhaps one time it's not so bad, you likely wouldn't get caught, but I'm pretty sure the Bible tells us to have integrity in all things (Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. Luke 6:10). When you're tempted to pass off a story as your own, realize a great story isn't worth your integrity. True, it may not have as great an impact as if it happened to you, but the lesson won't be lost on the students if you say, "A friend of mine..." or "I heard a story about..." And remember, your relationship with students and with your own family will be the most memorable message you ever share.
     Thanks for reading, for the time being I'm planning on doing a humorous post every Friday and less humorous post every Tuesday, which means Fridays will be more fun for both me and my 17 readers but I think there's some important things to say about youth ministry, and I'll try to say them Tuesdays. If you know anyone involved in youth ministry I'd appreciate you passing my blog on to them! If you would like to do a guest post or review let me know. I'm at 17 readers and 20 twitter followers, I'm no Jonathan Acuff but, dare to dream!

feel free to use anything I've written on this website in your own teaching but please give credit where credit is due :) explicittruth